Abused
by dull.moonlight
Summary: RATING MAY GO UP! This is just a collection of short stories concerning the way Sirius has been treated throughout his life.
1. Home is Hell

_**Abused – Home is Hell**_

I lower my head, trying not to listen to my parents. They are talking happily and freely about Voldemort, they call him the Dark Lord. My brother is sitting across from me chomping happily on his – whatever he's eating. My parents take no notice of either of us, and raise their voices merrily. "Yes, I think he has a great idea! Kill all the mudbloods and muggles! It's a wonderful plan. I think that Regulus and Sirius will be wonderful Death Eaters." Mom says this as if I'm not even in the room. What is she thinking? Me, Sirius Black, a Death Eater? I don't think so. I'm not like that, even though my dad is constantly telling me that I'm only ten and that I'll have all the time in the world to change my mind. He's also gotten me my first wand so I can practice horrible curses. Can't they accept that I'm not like they are? No, my family isn't like that. If you're a Black, you're practically royal in their minds and if you don't follow family tradition, you might as well pack up and live on the street.

My dad nods and turns to me. I lower my head as if not looking at my dad would make him forget about me. My head is so low that my black hair hangs in my face. "What about you, Sirius? Ready to choose the right path and train to join the Dark Lord when you're older?" I don't answer right away. I glance up at him. He is a lanky man with black hair – like mine. His eyes are dark and cold, and his expression his unnaturally light. But just for the moment. He has a horrible temper and his mood can change before you could say, "Temper". I shrug and mutter something. "What's that, my boy?" he asks.

"I kind of like muggles..." I say, but louder so he can hear me. "I mean, they're kind of interesting, you know? Their life styles and everything." My mother gasps and my father doesn't speak. Regulus looks up from his food, looking at each of us and giving me a you-shouldn't-have-said-that look. Dad puts down his silverware and stands up. It's at this moment I realize I've said the wrong thing. Dad walks behind me and grabs a bit of my hair, pulling hard. I yell in pain and fight to get away from his grasp. He doesn't let go. He makes me look up, although my eyes are closed.

"What did you say?" he asks, a brutal tone to his voice. I don't answer. He pulls harder, shaking my head slightly. "_What did you say!?_" he roars. I still don't answer. He lets go of my hair and I open my eyes, sighing in relief, though it doesn't last. He hits me so hard I get knocked off my chair. I barely notice hot tears rising in my deep blue eyes as a searing pain meets my cheek. He is now over me and I look up at him. I don't notice my brother has moved closer, enjoyment on his face, watching us. I scramble away from my dad and into a corner. He advances on me and I see that he's drawn his wand. My eyes grow wide. I know what that's for. He raises it and utters a word I have learned to fear and hate, "_Crucio!_"

A scream comes out of my mouth. I am now curled up, shaking, in the corner. The pain is unbearable, like a million knives that have been drenched in gasoline and then set fire being poked slowly all over. My bones are quivering and my voice is becoming hoarse. I am flinching and twitching, my feet kicking out aimlessly as if this would help ease the pain. Tears are drenching my face and my eyes are closed tightly. I wish that someone would just kill me here and now.

The curse is lifted and I slowly stop shaking and I open my eyes. I'm gulping and gasping for breath and curling up into a tighter ball, trying to go further into the corner, as far away from my dad as possible. There's laughing from my brother, but I ignore it. I'm still crying, burying my face into my robes. "Look at you," my dad says harshly. "You're weak, crying like that. Ten years old and you're still crying like some kind of little three-year-old girl!" He nudges me with his foot. "You're a disgrace to my name and the likes of wizards and witches everywhere!" I look up at him, sniffing. He looks down at me with disgust and goes to sit down at the table. "Go to your room! I don't want to see you right now." I don't have to be told twice. I stand up and stumble out of the room, running up the stairs and into my room, locking the door. I jump on my bed and bury my face into my pillow, still crying. I can't stop crying no matter what my dad had said. I cry until I'm asleep, although I never loose my strong grip on my pillow.


	2. School Scathes

_**Abused – School Scathes**_

I sit on my bed, looking at the white sheets. I've never had white sheets – not in my room at least. All my sheets are covered in blood and dirt and who knows what else. These sheets are clean. I don't like them much, but maybe I'm just not used to them. I look around the Dormitory. It's my first night at Hogwarts and the night before my mom and dad send me a Howler, scorning me in front of the whole school. I'm nervous. I'm not sure why, it's not like I have any friends yet that will stop liking me because of them – unless you count James Potter, a kid I met on the train. But I still don't like the idea of everyone in the world knowing how my parents act. Maybe to get rid of some of the stress, maybe because it's a habit, or maybe because I'm just bored, I take out my knife.

I got the knife a few years ago for my birthday. It is an awesome knife. It can open any door, and the blades can cut through anything – even brick. I didn't get it from my dad or mom, or Regulus even. It was from my favorite cousin, Andromeda. She's sorted into Ravenclaw. Well, her parents won't like that, but they won't be as mad as my parents. I was sorted into Gryffindor, which is Slytherin's worst enemy. My parents were saying how I'd be a great Slytherin. Well, their world is going to come crashing down on them. I'm happy for that at least, and it's quite funny to imagine Mom's face. I pull up my sleeve and lower my knife to the skin. It's already scabbed, scarred, burnt, and bruised. A few of these things I've done myself, and my parents, and cousins caused the others.

I'm just about to slit part of my skin when I hear someone enter the Dorm. I look up, trying to hide the knife and pull down my sleeve, but the boy has already seen my arm and the knife. He is just a little shorter than I am. He has light brown hair that hangs in his pale, freckled face. His eyes are a dark brown, but he has gray among that. He looks almost sick, but I don't pay attention because I'm probably as pale as he is and feeling as sick as he looks. He walks over to me – I've put my knife away – and looks at me quizzically. I don't look at him, but mutter, "Hello." He ignores me though, and looks at my arm. I push my sleeve down so that he can't see how bad the blemishes are.

"Did you do that to your arm?" he asks, looking at me with a serious look. I shrug slightly, but nothing that's noticeable. If I keep up like this, my dad's words will be true. 'You'll never have friends with your attitude! Rude, scornful, and a blood traitor! Not to mention how weak you are. Even if you do find someone willing to be your friend, you'll be so refined they'll loose interest!' So I know I have to say something. I don't know exactly what to say, because no one has ever asked me that before. I suppose I'll have to tell the truth.

"Well, partly. My cousins have caused a few of the bruises and my mum and dad caused most of the burn marks." The boy looks at me. I'm still not looking at him; instead I look at my shoes. I know what his expression wears. It's the I'm-so-sorry-for-you look. I don't want that look, or people to feel sorry for me. Of course, he's probably wondering what kind of parents mine are to do these things. "It's a long story," I say. I look at him and grin – hoping it's not a rude grin – and, to change the subject, stick out my hand. "I'm Sirius Black."

The boy takes my hand and smiles. "I'm Remus Lupin," he says, letting go. He is probably the first person to touch me – intentionally – outside my family. I look back at my shoes and we stand (actually, I sit) awkwardly for awhile. He looks at his watch and mutters something to himself. He looks at me and smiles once more. "Kind of late... I think I'll go to bed." I nod and watch as he slips into his bed and turns on his side, back away from me. I watch him for a few minutes more and grab my knife from my back pocket and roll up my sleeve. I take out a blade and run it slightly over my arm. The blade is sharp and a small pain is coming over me. There isn't any blood – yet – and the sheets are still clean.


	3. Truth Trouble

**Abused – Truth Trouble**

I've come a long way since my first year. I've become way more active and outgoing. No longer am I considered the shy, quiet kid of Gryffindor. James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew really changed me in ways I could never imagine, but it was for the greater good. Now I can't find a single group I'd rather be with other than these blood traitors, half bloods, and mudbloods. James is from a purebred family, but the Potters are known for their traitor-like ways. Remus has a muggle mom and a wizard dad. Finally, Peter was the very first one of magical ability in his whole family. But even though these people are the type I was supposed to hate, I couldn't find a more loyal and trustworthy group than them. That's why they're the only ones who know my secret.

Don't get me wrong, I've gotten close, but making it out of the Great Hall with a Howler before it blows is a tricky thing to do. Still, the drive to keep my family a secret is strong. Sure, people know I'm related to Bellatrix and Narcissa, but everyone's been convinced that they're the bad eggs of the family, not the other way around. I've been doing a good job, if you ask me. I can only hope I'll be able to keep it all up.

I sit at the breakfast table, eating some bacon when James and Remus walk in. I smile and wave to the kid with untidy black hair and glasses, and the other with the brown hair and sleepy-looking eyes. James waves back cheerfully and sits down across. Remus plops down next to him, not really caring about his position. "Hey, James! What's goin' on?" I ask, grinning. James grins too, filling his plate with eggs and bacon. Then he grabs a banana and offers it to Remus, who just glares at him. He grins at me.

"Hey, Sirius. Nothing's going on, unless you count Remus's temper." He grins wider. I give him a quizzical look. "Of course you know Emmeline Vance, right?" I nod. I'd gone out with her last year. "Well it seems lover-boy has a crush," James says, nodding over to Remus. I grin. "And, to make it better, he knows her favorite animal. It's a monkey!" James gave an uncharacteristic squeal and turned back to Remus. "You're certain you don't want a banana?"

"Shove off James," Remus says and looks at me. "That's not the reason I'm snappy. You and James woke me up five times last night with your stupid pillow fight. Then he wouldn't let me sleep in. It's _Saturday_ for Christ's Sake! Really, how can you two stay up that long, get up before me, and not be tired?" I just shrug.

"Good morning to you too," I say and then I turn to James. "Hey, pass a banana, would ya?" James throws one over and I eat it. The whole while Remus glares at me. I put the peel on my plate, and I'm about to say something when we hear a screech from the owls that are bringing the mail. "Ah the mail!" I say, and then I search for my owl. I find it, but...oh no, there's a red envelope attached to it. I've gotten a Howler...again. I stand up abruptly, waiting for the letter to drop, wondering what it is this time.

The red letter is dropped, and I catch it in midair. I don't have to tell James and Remus that I'll be back, because they know I will be. The second the red touches my hand, I start to bolt towards the door. This is hard because the door is on the other side of the Hall. I look at the letter when I pass the Hufflepuff table. It's starting to tremble. I try to run faster, but it's hard to stay at this speed... I pass the Ravenclaw table...it's starting to steam. Only one table away from the doors. Unfortunately, this is the worst table. I hear somebody yell, "Trip him!"

This somebody sounds a lot like Bellatrix... But that doesn't cross my mind for more than a millisecond because in the next moment I'm on the ground and the letter has been knocked from my grasp. I hurt from falling, but I pay no attention as I stand up and grab for the letter. Only...it's not there. I look up and see a boy with long, greasy black hair. He's smiling terribly with his black eyes that look different and darker compared to his pale skin. I don't like this boy, but I'm desperate. I do the only thing I can: beg.

"Snape, don't... I need that letter, please!" I say, making a grab for it. He steps out of my reach just in time. I start to panic. The letter could go off at any second. "Please, give it to me, I'll... I'll do anything. I'll make sure James doesn't bother you ever again. Please, just... Please..." My desperate state is starting to show through my voice. I see his lips curl into a nasty smile.

"Why, Black, it's so generous of you to offer, but..." He looks around to our peers. "Well, you see, Black, we've all been wondering what your little secret is. It would be wrong of me to satisfy you over everybody else in the room." I glare at him, and I yell, "Just give me the damn letter!" He just smirks and, as the letter is starting to flame, throws it a few feet away from us. I know I can't get to it in time, so I just stare in horror as it combusts and I listen to the words of my mom flow out.

'Sirius Black! How dare you pull that stunt in front of your dad's friends! It's those mudbloods from Gryffindor that are doing this to you! I swear you'll be lucky if he doesn't kill you when you come home for the summer! I DON'T CARE IF YOU MESS YOUR LIFE UP, BUT DON'T RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY! I don't want you doing something like that again! If you do, I'll be forced to come up to Hogwarts!'

The words ring through the Hall. There is complete silence save a few snickers from Bellatrix and her gang. I can't take my eyes off the small pile of ashes that used to be the Howler. If I had looked, I would have seen James and Remus with their mouths open, staring at me and Snape, who was still standing in front of me, though now he was in a trance. He broke it with a quiet, cold laugh. "Well, well, look what the blood traitor of a Black was hiding?" This broke my trance. I glared at Snape, with complete hatred in my eyes. I didn't like him that much before, but now that was different. Now I hated him.

I take out my wand and mutter an incantation under my breath. In a moment Snape stops grinning and is banged against the wall behind him. I am shaking with rage now, and I yell, "Let that be the beginning of the worst years of your life. Because from this day forward, I will make your life miserable, and you will dread waking up in the mornings!" With that I ran out of the Hall, not wanting to face the detention I'd be sure to get, and definitely not the whispers that would be going around the school.

I won't care if James and Remus follow. I'm sure that they'll forgive me for not returning to the table. They always understand those things. Right now, I really don't care about anything except the humiliation I'll be sure to suffer. After all, everyone will know that I lied to them and they'll take it two different ways. One group will understand why I tried to keep it hidden. The other group will think that I'm just a lying little creep. But it doesn't matter... What matters is everyone knows. My secret is out.


End file.
